problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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