i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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