she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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