Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
NoShamevember. You game?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
