I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
