So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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