I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
