I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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