Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
