I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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