Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize