My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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