My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
