She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
