just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
