There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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