i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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