Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
