haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
