come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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