I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
