I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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