Can Purell be used as lube?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
