You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
