I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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