I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
