quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
