Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
