i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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