We won't sleep together?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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