just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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