You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
