The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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