I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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