im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize