I bet he comes in French.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
