I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize