I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
