is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
