Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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