It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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