just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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