i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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