You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
