just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
