she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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