im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize