ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
