it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
