Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
