i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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