im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
