If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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