you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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