Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
