So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
