I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
