It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
