I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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