your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
