he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
