hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
