I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
