Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
